(xxxvii.)

Pierpont stared at the ceiling, blankly.

"No, no, no no no," he mumbled, quietly. "That's not how it goes at all. See, the only reason I know her is cause she saved my life." He slurred.

Muffy stared at him. "Lorelei saved your life? And you're just... still friends?"

"Right," he slurred. "That's when I was living out in the midwest. I was going to work one morning, y'know, and so I go out the door, and she just -- bam! She tackles me. Just, y'know, knocks me to the ground, y'know? And she's all like, 'they're gonna shoot you... run...' ...or something. Yeah. That's pretty much how it went down."

"You're drunk."
"Well, yeah. I do that sometimes."
"Do you have any idea what's going on around you?"

He sat up. "Of course I do," he slurred.

She sat down on the couch next to him. "Prove it," she declared.


Pierpont leaned back, into Muffy. "Well, okay, okay, I can do that. Let's see... Lory works for me now, and... well, hang on, I should start with the Joint Commission. They're trying to shut us down. And they're all like, 'oooh! we're gonna arrest you!', and so, everyone's all scattered... anyway, Lory stole a car -- she had to kidnap the salesguy to get it... and... oh, yo, you remember Alfred?"

She nodded.

"Well, he was murdered... I think he got shoved off the roof of a motel, and then they staged it to look like he hung himself... or something. I think that's what she said. Anyway, they held up an Ice Cream truck, so they could put him in the freezer."

Muffy looked toward Pierpont, then to the Bourbon bottle, and then back to Pierpont. "So... you're telling me... that --"

There was an awkward silence.

"No, that can't be. You're full of shit. None of that has anything to do with Accounting."

Pierpont snorted with laughter.

"I'm not really an accountant. I just told you that 'cause I didn't want you to, y'know, know that I was the head of the corporation of, y'know, spies and shit. That whole 'co-conspirator' thing."

He paused. "Aww, fuck, I just said that out loud, didn't I?"



[chapter xxxviii.]