(lxi.)

"Okay. I know I missed a step here. Explain."
"Where do you want me to start?"
"At the beginning."

Lorelei nodded.

"Okay. Well, it all goes back to the 1876 Exposition."
"Huh?"
"Yup."
"What's this have to do with--"
"Hush. Let me tell the story. Now, back in 1876, there was a huge exposition, showcasing the technology of the day, and it was new, and spiffy, and exciting, and--"

"Do you folks want more coffee?"

"Sur--"
"--no thanks, we're good. Anyways, 1876 Exposition, right? There's a man named Albin Wainwright. So, he's wandering around, and just looking at stuff, and, so the story goes, he overhears two Civil War veterans talking. And the one starts talking to the other about--"

"You sure you don't need a refill on the coffee?"
"No," Lorelei responded, trying to be polite, "we're good. Anyways, the one started saying to the other, how the only reason the North won is because of the spies that they sent down, and, his friend says, no, 'cause the South had to have had spies too, and they started to fight over it, and they started telling stories and anecdotes and such, and, suddenly, our friend Albin realized that it wasn't about the government at all, and that it would just be easier to have one little company that didn't answer to anyone, and that--"

"You sure you don't want more coff--"
"We're fine, thank you," Lorelei said, through gritted teeth.

"Anyways," she continued, "he saw it as a really good business model."
"Okay. So that's it?" Midge asked.
"Well, it was called Omniscient originally, but after the United States didn't join the League of Nations, it kind of dropped off the face of the earth for a year, and then came back in 1921 as this funny portmantaeu of 'Omniscient' and 'Alluvion', which is a fancy word for sand deposited on waterfront property by incoming water."
"So... that's where 'Omnivion' comes from."
"Yup. Well, at least, it had a hyphen in the middle, until, like, 1956."
"Why? What happened in '56?"
"Radio sales were down, so they redesigned the logo."
"Oh."

Midge nodded. "Okay. Now I have another question."
"Yeah?"
"What does all this have to do with Chet and the Joint Commission on Espionage?"

Lorelei sighed, heavily.

"...Yeah, this is the part we're gonna need coffee for. And pie. We're definately going to need pie for this part."



[chapter lxii.]